School Jokes

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Differences Between Physicist, Biologist And Chemist
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A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".
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Differentiation (If you studied about this before)
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A mathematician went insane and believed that he was the differentiation operator. His friends had him placed in a mental hospital until he got better. All day he would go around frightening the other patients by staring at them and saying "I differentiate you!"

One day he met a new patient; and true to form he stared at him and said "I differentiate you!", but for once, his victim's expression didn't change. Surprised, the mathematician marshaled his energies, stared fiercely at the new patient and said loudly "I differentiate you!", but still the other man had no reaction. Finally, in frustration, the mathematician screamed out "I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!

The new patient calmly looked up and said, "You can differentiate me all you like: I'm e to the power of x."
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PROOF ?THE LESS YOU KNOW THE MORE MONEY YOU MAKE (TO ASSURED THOSE WHO DON'T LIKE TO STUDY)
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We know that
a) Time is Money
b) Knowledge is Power
c) Power = Work / Time (From Physics)

By simple substitution:
Knowledge = Work / Money
Knowledge * Money = Work
Money = Work / Knowledge

It follows that as knowledge goes to 0, money goes to infinity.
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THE EVOLUTION OF MATHS TEACHINGS
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You guys kept complaining that Maths is soooo difficult nowadays. Do you know what you children and grand children will be going through? Take a look at this.

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Year 1960s Exam Question: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price, that is, $8. What is his profit?

Year 1980s Exam Question: A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price. What is his profit?

Year 2000s Exam Question: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $M. His cost amount to 4/5 of his selling price. Given that his profit is $2, find the value of M.

Year 2020s Exam Question: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8, and his profit is $2. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss about it.

Year 2040s Exam Question: Calculate the cost of potatoes, by plotting a smooth curve, to calculate the variations in the prices of the potatoes in the current market from the source given.

Year 2XXXs Exam Question: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His or her production costs are 0.80 of his or her revenue. On your calculator, graph revenue vs. costs. Run the POTATO program to determine the profit. Discuss the results and thus write a brief essay that analyzes this example in the real world of economics.
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SCHOOL ANALYSIS
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Lots of people say that school days are the happiest days of their lives. But have you ever noticed that the people who say that don't go to school anymore?

School could be quite interesting, if the subjects wasn't so boring, especially when most of them you have to learn have got nothing to do with real life.

English ?Who needs to know English? No one speaks English anymore ?They speak Singlish.

And Maths ?What use is that to anyone? If you need to add, subtract, multiply or divide, just use a calculator. You don't have to do it in your head or on the paper, because you'll just get it wrong anyway.

What about reading? If you want any information, it's there on the TV, radio, or CD ROM. It's the same if you like a story. just watch a video or listen to the radio.

And why bother to learn to write? You can talk, can't you? If the person is nearby, just open you mouth. If you want to communicate over a longer distance, there's a telephone or computer nearby.

History is useless because what has happened has happened and there isn't anything you or anyone else can do about it. There is definitely no need to learn about what happened in the past ?it certainly won't help you understand the latest fashion.

It has been said that school is the place where you are made to learn lots of things that you will never need when you leave it. So why bother? Let's all give up school and not bother to learn anything.

As the saying goes, Ignorance is bliss.